Thomastoons Cartoon Blog

2010-06-26T21:26:00.001-07:00

I AM NOT A NUMBER...I'M A FREE MAN!

2008-08-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

Rabbits Foot,Horseshoe and Four Leaf clover. None of them compare to the majesty of the number SEVEN. If cats had seven lives, they wouldn't need the other two. Fourteen-up would taste twice as good. Vicissitudes of epic proportion could be averted. So Hail number 7, without it number 13 would rule the universe.

Bleach Fiasco Results In The Introduction Of The Boston White Sox

2008-05-15T04:33:00.000-07:00

We've all heard of going green. Well the Boston Red Sox are now going white. Due to an unfortunate laundry mishap, the celebrated Red Sox now suffer the harrowing fate of their Chicago brethren. The dry cleaners bromide of "Shit Happens" was not well received by the disgruntled Red Sox nation. The mayor of 'Beantown' tried to placate his unruly constituents with his rendition of "White Rabbit",but to no avail. One New Englander exclaimed,"We still haven't gotten over the Boston Tea Party".

In God We Trust

2008-04-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

Here they are Katelyn.

Greetings and Salutations

2007-12-25T13:15:00.001-08:00

Karma and the Technicolor Dreamcoat

2007-12-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

Great Expectations=Mammoth Disappointments

2007-12-22T23:05:00.001-08:00

Pillsbury Doughboy Denies Embezellment Charges

2007-12-22T16:07:00.000-08:00

Try Starbucks new Mocha,the 'World Cup".

2007-12-12T16:44:00.000-08:00

Office Calls

2007-12-11T14:17:00.000-08:00

In late breaking news Entertainment Tonite reports a major cast shake up in the comedy series "The Office".
Replacing the beloved characters Jim and Ryan are two new characters played by the Thomas Brothers of Thomastoons fame.
Though it was a radical change ,the cast seemed legitimately excited at the prospect of working with the Thomas Siblings.
An extremely exuberant Rainn Wilson was seen to be dancing a Nigerian Rain Jig,when he heard Bob was to be his new adversary on the show. Bill ,suffering from bowel retardation, regards Steve Carell as a demi-god of comedy.
When asked what the impact he and his brother would have on the show, an awe struck Bill replied,"What Me Worry."

STOP in the name of love or at least slow down a little.

2007-12-10T04:44:00.000-08:00

Lincoln Park-Cornbread Theory

2007-12-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

SILENCE is sometimes silverish.

2007-12-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

Oh Cry for Me... ROBOTINA!

2007-12-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

Everybody likes Ho Ho's except if it's their daughter.

2007-12-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

Snowwoman Wanted. 5ft.,white and winning smile.

2007-12-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

God Child and his Three Wise Guys

2007-12-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

Frosty Who...

2007-11-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

If Laughter is the Best Medicine...I'm selling my cartoons to the Pharmaceutical Companies.

2007-11-29T18:25:00.000-08:00

Can Football and Relationships co-exist?

2007-10-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

For those who are avid football fans,the kind who have their team logos peppered on their toilet paper, can a harmonious relationship exist?
It can if the game coincides with Bingo night.
I am a sports fanatic. I'd like to do more sports cartoons,but the demand is not there yet.

Halloween:Screams=Success

2007-10-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

I begin my Halloween celebration tonite.
By far my favorite Holiday.
Much to my chagrin, I was unable to find the time to make a costume.
Woe is me.
For next year we'll have an updated collection of Halloween cartoons at Thomastoons. So long for now and scare up a good time.

Ellen Degenres-Heartbreaker, Dream Taker

2007-10-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

I thought this was slightly amusing,slightly.Actually to be serious(one of the few times I will be,seriously),Ellen is one of the funniest comics to ever grace the planet. Her self-deprecating wit is very welcome in my world. On par with Jerry Seinfeld,Don Rickles and Robin Williams,especially their improv skills.

Now on to toonage. Here's one in the spirit of this column.

Ready,Aim.....oops

2007-10-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

10/23/2020 - Thomastoons Acquire Time/Warner/Aol in the Largest Merger in History

2007-10-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

Robert Thomas, Chairman/CEO of Thomastoons, the multi-media conglomerate, has acquired Time/Warner in one of the most savage takeovers in American history.

Thomas, who readily applies his "Scorched Earth" policy in acquistions, brought the business world to it's knees by owning virtually every media outlet in the world. When asked if this would impinge on the first amendment, Robert replied, "Yo Mama."

In related news, Bob's brother, Bill, co-founder of Thomastoons, was found dead in the shower, reportedly slipping on an inexplicable banana peel and holding a General Electric iron. It was ruled an accidental electrocution/blunt force trauma by the regional coroner, who in his statement said, "Go Figure."

Cartoonist Draws Bath

2007-10-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

After a hard day of wielding my mighty ink pen, I need to unwind. Lounging in a tub of my own bacterial swill doesn't seem too enticing.
On a more relevant note,what ever happened to Gary Larson?One of my all time favorites. Do retired tooners get studded out to pasture. I sure hope so.Nough for now. Keep frosty.

Where There's a George Will, There's a Way

2007-10-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning and a cup of joe to start a hectic drawing spree.Listening to political pundits rehash the same verbal assaults of bygone election years.
They are great fodder for political cartoonists. My brother and I are too timid to take on the big boys.
Actually some of the best cartoonists are of the editorial variety.Caricatures do test ones mettle.
Who is going to be President? Clinton,McCain,Obama,Edwards or How about Bert from Ernie and Bert fame?
Here's a list of candidates I'd like to see.
1.Ellen DeGenres
2.Regis Philbin(built in vice-president-Kelly Ripa)
3.Optimus Prime-but he brings baggage-aka,the Decepticons.
4.Scary Spice
5.Tom Brady-Patriot QB too obvious of a choice.
6.Finally-Mr. Rogers.

It's Saturday Night and All I Got is a $1.50 and a Half Pack of Smokes

2007-10-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

Well,It's band time tonite.
I don't know how far I can get on a $1.50 ,but I'm a gamer. Damn cartoons,you need to make my life easier,not scrounging around seat cushions looking for a shiny quarter.
Sometimes,panhandling w/an amusement park won mug yields better results.That's it for tonite.
Go Tribe!
Peace out.

Coma's and Lollipops

2007-10-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

Boy as the weather gets colder.I feel like sleeping for 3 days straight,but I gotta grind it out and get this
cartoon show on the road.

Incendiary Thoughts

2007-10-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

Come on Baby light my fire... Great song, heard it while I was sketching some cartoons. Speaking of great songs here's my top ten.

1. Mr. Brightside-The Killers
2. Jeremy- Pearl Jam
3. Over the Hills and Far away-Led Zepplin
4. Hey Jude-Beatles
5. Shimmer-Fuel
6. Beautiful Day-U2
7. Melt with You-Modern English
8. Iris-Goo Goo Dolls
9. Pink Bullets-The Shins
10. Landslide-Fleetwood Mac
These songs are hot, but subject to change at the whims of the master of this blog. Anybody got a better ten, like a Missourian would say, "Show Me."

This is about as deep as I go because I'm drawing from a very shallow pool of thought.

BTW, here's a photo of the artistic team from Thomastoons.

Dog Day Aternoon

2007-10-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

Well, an important subject I think needs to be addressed first. The Indians are officially 3-1 up on the Sox.Go Tribe.
On to new business. I'm searching for the perfect cartoon to draw,the holy grail of ideas. The cartoon that launched 1000 yuks.One that is so perfect every single magazine on the planet will pay top dollar for it.From Senegal to South Florida,Yemen to St. Petersburg,whether it be euros,pesos or dollars,all currencies are welcome here.
Changing the subject.
Top 10 TV Series of the last ten years.
1.Seinfeld,
2.Heroes
3.24
4.Sopranos
5.The Shield.
6.American Idol
7.Entourage
8.Prison Break
9.Survivor
10.X-Files

Anti-Hero

2007-10-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Watched Heroes last night.
Mmmm Silar still kicks ass even though he's a powder puff right now.
He's one of the better villians of all time.
Wonder who the new Baddie is.

My Celebrity Morph

2007-10-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

Today I wasted a small chunk of my life doing a celebrity morph at myheritage.com.
Enjoy.

WARNING:This morph has been proven to cause severe nausea, vomiting, restless leg syndrome, A.D.D., and projectile diarrhea in laboratory rats and politicians.

Evil Corporations

2007-10-11T03:17:00.001-07:00

WALMART-Sells outrageously cheap crap to over-caffeinated people who spent all their money on 5 dollar lattes.

STARBUCKS-Sells outrageously expensive coffee to people who have lots of extra cash after buying cheap crap at Walmart.

Historic Moment in Cartooning

2007-10-10T02:23:00.000-07:00

Just a little homage to the Saturday mornings of our youth.

Actually, this is a perfect example of the power of wordless cartoons. And though it may be wordless, it makes great use of sound and sound effects. In fact, it relies heavily on them.

Job Termination Blues

2007-10-09T04:44:00.000-07:00

I rarely do this, but I'm dedicating this cartoon post to my brother, Brian, who was just laid off his job.

Poor guy has 2 small children and a big house. Least I can do is try to cheer him up. Hang in there, Bro.

3:10 to Yuma

2007-10-06T12:29:00.000-07:00

Just saw the film 3:10 to Yuma. It's a different kind of western, more of a thinker along the lines of 'Unforgiven' than your average bulletfest. Christian Bale, Russel Crowe and Ben Foster are a hoot to watch. It's not my fave, but definitely up there
On a related note, here's a still from a little-known film I produced called '3:10 to Nobody gives a Rat's Ass'.

Rejection is my middle name

2007-10-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

Here is a copy of the rejection letter (found on google) used by the Saturday Evening Post. The cartoon on the right is one of my cartoons.
It's hard to see, but there's a skeleton sitting on the lakeshore with a fishing pole. Two guys walk by, and one says "This
doesn't look like a very good spot."

It's priceless to know that my cartoon is being used to represent a rejection letter. Maybe I should get paid every time it's sent out. Wishful thinking...

Where's Paris Hilton when we need her?

2007-10-03T03:15:00.000-07:00

As we approach the doldrums of the fall season, my tortured brain churns with possible cures to head off the inevitable holiday blues.

So far, I've taken an important first step by putting my credit card under house arrest, as well as slapping a restraining order on the the home shopping network, amazon, and ebay. Yeah, put the pressure on the fat guy with the red suit to come through for a change...

Unfortunately, that isn't enough. I need a distraction, a slab of raw meat to divert the vultures away from me and my pocketbook. It is here that I pin my hopes on a leggy blond Heiress named after a famous European capital.

How many minutes has it been since Paris Hilton's last scandal? Too many, as far as I'm concerned.
Santa, if you exist, please, please let Paris rise up from her swampy netherworld and preoccupy the nation in slackjawed awe for the next few months. At least long enough for me to pay off my debts from last Christmas.

That way, I'm off the hook, the nation is entertained, and all is right with the world. I realize this is a tall (and leggy) order, but I've been a good boy and damn it, I deserve it.

Banned Cartoons

2007-09-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

Since the anniversary of 9/11 was yesterday, it got me thinking about the time shortly after the twin towers when everyone was making French jokes, on account of their lack of support for the war, which at the time seemed like a good idea.
Anyway, my brother and I drew a boatload of cartoons bashing the french. They were lots of fun, and a lot of magazines were looking for that sort of thing.
Except for one particularly nasty cartoon editor of an unnamed mag who sent me the foulest, most vicious letter in response to my submission accusing me of being a racist xenophobe who would never again be published in his magazine.
I treasured that letter, but can't seem to find it.
If I do, perhaps I'll post it.
Here's one of the cartoons I submitted.
Enjoy!
-Bill

New Cartoon idea

2007-09-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Bill here.
This is just off the top of my head, but here's a gag cartoon idea I just came up with:
Teenager helping frail old lady across the street.
Halfway across, the light turns green.
Teen begins to change direction and says to old lady "Sorry, I gotta run, the lights changing."

I don't know. I'll have to see how it translates to paper. It's my usual modus operandi to
write ideas in text form and then have brother Bob send me a pencil sketch, which I will
later put to pen and ink .

We'll see if this develops...
-B

Pics of Bill and Bob Thomas

2007-08-20T04:07:00.000-07:00

This is complicated

2007-08-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

Man,
this whole RSS and blogging thing is way too complicated for a simple minded knuckle-dragging neanderthal such as myself.
Still, with a steady hand and a true heart I shall trudge on and slog my way through this blogswamp.
My first post sucks already.
-Bill