Robert Thomas, Chairman/CEO of Thomastoons, the multi-media conglomerate, has acquired Time/Warner in one of the most savage takeovers in American history.
Thomas, who readily applies his "Scorched Earth" policy in acquistions, brought the business world to it's knees by owning virtually every media outlet in the world. When asked if this would impinge on the first amendment, Robert replied, "Yo Mama."
In related news, Bob's brother, Bill, co-founder of Thomastoons, was found dead in the shower, reportedly slipping on an inexplicable banana peel and holding a General Electric iron. It was ruled an accidental electrocution/blunt force trauma by the regional coroner, who in his statement said, "Go Figure."
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